Loss is an unavoidable experience that will happen to everyone. The universal nature of loss is a central theme taken up for analysis in Buddhism, which provides many tools for understanding why a natural process, such as losing someone, can cause emotional suffering and grief.
One metaphor which comes from Buddhism to understand grief is the simile of the “two arrows” in the Salla Sutta*.
- The first arrow: The initial experience of the loss itself.
- The second arrow: The mental reaction to that loss, which is experienced as grief.
*The Salla Sutta is a Buddhist discourse, where the Buddha explains the difference between how an unlearned person and a trained disciple react to pain.